My mother

LIFE has been always tough for me, so tough. It was like the vessel of my life sunk so much deep every time, every day until I no longer cared enough to retrieve it. Family played a healing and heightening part here and parents' were always the column and positions for mightiest inspiration. Otherwise, the idea of “Mom” was just fragments and it was like I waited for that every innovative chance of time to seep back down to the forsaken lake, which is time itself and knot out the pieces. So, here there is the revived passion and greatest sorrows of a legendary lifetime of growing-up with just nobody to care, understand and feel your heart beats at excel velocity. That is the point of life when I detested her and later found out the other side of this story.


I never got enough of her and maybe this is the first and crucial reason that she was my victim of sarcasm to motherhood. She left me- or I'd rather not say it this way- or she was pushed to have kept me apart and isolated from her for some dark 7 years or more. And time grew us more distant and indifferent. Every time we talked over phone, it was the equivalent and fashionably old consistent yet small conversations and mockery. All of us took privilege in accusing the other party, and there was nothing we believed in instead of being monotheistic. Here, this term “all of us” gladly or sadly represent the generation of we indecent yet love savvy and hungry people who were not brave enough to correspond the abysmal remoteness.

The professor me right now really want to be heard and speaks out- it's me always talking so good about for a new autobiography I write. Actually, that's the systematical emphasize for a boundary which is set outside the original horizon. I really, really have to pledge this lady- maybe not because she had done or put so much that disgusted me so much all these years- not because she had punish me for a crime I never foresaw- maybe not for she's evil women and I had relation and no longer one- but still there's instilled in me her jot of blood that I surrender to when I'm pained. This little thing running inside me is my life and that's her gift to me. How do I ever say it a mishap or forbidden sin? No relation perhaps gets purified and even attested to divinity that a mother-daughter's. Knowledge is enough when a new born child gazes at her mom's beautiful eyes and stares to find water falling downwards. Love is sometime all the things to remove dusk.

But maybe this is not the end- there's never an end. If the mercy of dearest God, the blessings and touch of my father's life is there, and the love of my mother and sisters stay so appealing I'd do so much success in life that people have to stop envying and just loving me for who I am. Mom, so this is for you: You are my key to success. That's a remembrance you should always keep. I'd love you forever and my mother you'll stay everlastingly. I will never forget the blood that reigns in my body. You are with me, eternal. I love you so much even if you don't, it doesn't have to matter.